Being something and proclaiming to be something else is a disease very common in today’s materialistic society. This disease which leads to social unrest and frustration. The victim is a merry fellow quite oblivious of reality. He view and devises life from social point of view denying his personal need. Symptoms of this disease are varied and victim may have few or all the symptoms depending upon the stage of disease. Just like a mad person, pretending patient does not accept sickness. Hence, diagnosis should be done with great care.
The statement, ‘I can’t afford it’, is a taboo for him. Earning less; spending more; saving nothing; believing in God for future security is the key to this symptom. The victim lives in a highly rented house in a posh locality, drives a leased car, shops on credit card to maintain a false status which he simply couldn’t afford. He takes great pride in wearing big brands and dining in expensive restaurants. He is highly impressed and fascinated by higher class and loves to socialize with them. The more he mingles with upper class the more is his inferiority complex.
Making a lot of fuss about citizenship and civic sense is another symptom. Although he never admits it in his mind, he believes that being a born citizen means to enjoy a few privilege like littering, breaking traffic rules and bribing freely while civic sense should be practiced sincerely out of the country. He proudly wastes his right of voting as he can’t spoil his holiday finding a horse among donkeys. Yet he dutifully criticizes every single politician.
Victim pretends to be lovable person in social gatherings; very kind, polite and graceful. He would readily give treats to friends but will save every single Pisa while feeding his servants. Out on the road, he masquerades himself as brave and valiant but will shrink from showing mercy to heavily bleeding person and leave him on street to die on the plea of avoiding police investigation.
He associates great love and reverence to the idea of ‘Maa’ being epitome of sacrifice, care and affection. Father is proclaimed as shade from all afflictions and misfortunes of life. In practice he treats parents as liabilities. However, he satisfies himself that his parents never raised themselves to that level while he also never considers about being a good parent. Too obsessed and occupied with public relations, the busy bee couldn’t bother about trivialities spending time with kids and concerning about their little issues. Relations for the ‘pretender’ are investments from which he wants quick returns.
He would tries his best to show himself to learned intellectual. Unwelcome, he jumps into every argument that he comes across even when he has no knowledge on the subject. The argument is soon dropped as none wants to reduce themselves to the level of this fool. Victims with this symptom are many, one at least in every ten people.
Victim maintains a well mannered, cool, liberal image in public. This false image does buy our gullible pretender a rich, cheeky spouse but as the relation progresses and curtain is raised; matrimony transform from a lovable bond to a struggle of understanding. The pretender shows his true colour and becomes a short tempered, conservative, unbearable, obnoxious being, near to bankruptcy. All those willing to marry should beware of pretenders. Pretender should know that being conservative is not a crime while it is orthodoxy for few, it is decency for others.
Interestingly, no matter how much he pretend people around them are always aware of this disease. Patient has to understand that he does not live in a world of fools. People always know what you are disregarding what you be. Expressing your mind truly is the key to cure. Apart from false assurance truth is that once a pretender always a pretender, like a dogs tail he simply couldn’t be straighten. Like AIDS increasing awareness can help decrease the spread of disease.
- Post 9:What is the issue of study of social phobia? (codelinebag.wordpress.com)
- ‘I wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening to me’ (everydayhealth.com)
- You Need to See a Neurologist (neurologyyonkers.wordpress.com)
- the great pretender (alicekeysmd.wordpress.com)
- Disease of Pretending (mariamsodawater.com)